Drunk Bears and Red Apples

So, a listener asked us why apples are red, and honestly, my first thought was just... wait, they aren't all red. Granny Smiths exist.

Exactly. Best apple, hands down.

Well, genetically, the wild ancestor of the apple, Malus sieversii—

Bless you.

I am ignoring that. As I was saying, they originated in Kazakhstan, and they were mostly green and yellow. The redness actually evolved later to attract bears.

Wait. Bears?

Bears eat apples?

Oh, you've never seen a bear in an orchard? They get absolutely hammered on fermented apples.

No way. Drunk bears? That's terrifying.

It is a documented phenomenon, yes. But the red anthocyanin pigments act like a visual beacon for mammals who—

So basically, apples invented red marketing just to get eaten by huge, drunk mammals.

Nature's neon sign for an open bar. Okay, I think that answers it perfectly.